Words and Writing

2008-06-09T23:50:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some reading tonight. I have read mostly blogs today but the past couple weeks I have read a couple books and started a new one. They each had a message and some humor and a few even moved my spirit but these are not the things that I am thinking of now. All around me I find extremely talented writers both in the book store and in those that surround me. Tonight, like so many other nights, I find myself scratching my head wounding why God would call someone like me to write when I see such talent in others. I’m not trying to be a downer I am just trying to be honest. So no I’m not the worst ever but I am certainly lacking. As this is being read I am sure errors are being found in my grammar, spelling, and most definitely in my punctuation. My vocabulary, I am sure, could use some work and I often find that my brain gets so muddled that sentence I write make little sense if any at all. I could at this point try to explain to you how my brain works differently. I could try to explain how I taught myself to read in such a way that it’s more recognition then actual reading and that my spelling is so sub-par it’s ridiculous. But the very idea of trying to explain it makes my brain hurt so I’m just going to skip that. The writing I blog is the only writing I let out in to the world without my sister reading and correcting it first. Her favorite mistake I made was when I wrote Professor Higgins hosekeeper instead of housekeeper which was a mistype but funny none the less. Some say that spelling, grammar, and punctuation are all things a writer can “get around”. Whenever such a conversation arises I am always reminded of a conversation I had with someone I know to be a talented writer. They were talking about an author I am particularly found of and one I thought to be quite brilliant. They said as much as they liked the book it was hard at the begging to get past the authors many mistakes. I find it hard to forget or get past what he said. As big as this problem seems to me it is not the biggest problem I find in my writing. I find my lack of talent at times depressing. I have a very active imagination but trying to get a good story out on paper is something that I have not yet been able to do. The craziest thing is that I LOVE to write. When I have something to say and I’m not worried about who’s going to read it, writing is so much fun and such a release! The amazing thing is that where this used to make me sad it now makes me curious. I will write and I will keep trying to be good at it. I love writing and I believe it is one of the many things I am called to do. I hope that I can learn to get over myself and just do it. I want to be able to laugh at myself and just enjoy writing. I want to have the kind of faith that moves mountains so that at the end of my life if I never wrote anything good and no one ever read my work and toke notice I would be happy to say “I kept trying Lord and it was a good run”. I want to have the kind of faith in God that I know, succeed or fail, He’s got me. In the end anything I am asked or called to do I just want to be able to say that with faith and passion I tried. Maybe you will understand and maybe you won’t but either way I am going to ask for prayer. I wish for faith in abundance and less of me and more of Him. And maybe at some point I’ll stop scratching my head and worry only that I am doing my Fathers work and know that as long as I am doing that everything else will just fall away. I am finding that my writing it getting more and more muddled so I am going to stop for tonight. Goodnight all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.
~Shakespeare~